Rollercoasters

They say that the life of a Peace Corps volunteer is like a rollercoaster. There are plenty of ups, downs and even times when you feel like you’re upside down and ready to cry or throw up. While waiting in line for your turn to experience the thrill, you might have sweaty palms and be a little nervous because you have no idea what to expect. But you take the anxiety in stride, because really, it’s all worth it in the end. I mean, why else would you wait minutes upon minutes for your chance at the rollercoaster? Or maybe in the case of Peace Corps, months upon months waiting for that invitation letter and package to come your way. But through it all, there’s also excitement. Excitement of the thrill of going through this crazy ride. Excitement for the anticipation of what’s around the next corner. And at the end of the ride as you’re pulling back into the station where you started, you think, “man, that was fun! Let’s do it again!” Even after all that anxiety and waiting, you’re willing to do it again, because for just that short amount of time, it was all worth it.

Right now, I guess you could say I’ve just hit a “down” in the rollercoaster but am slowly  inching my way, trying to ascend up to the top, for where the view is always incredible. If you ask me how my day was today, I might reply that it was fine, but ask me a few days or even just a few hours from now and I might tell you differently. I think the one thing keeping me here and letting myself feel these downs is because I’m stubborn. Yup, I admitted it, I’m stubborn. I’m stubborn because deep down I can see the big picture in all of this, or at least I hope the big picture will come into view when I’m at the top and everything looks beautiful.

Since I have been on other types of rollercoaster rides in my life, I know that with downs also come ups. I know that if there were never low moments in life, I wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate the happy ones.

But for the next couple minutes, just let me wallow in my down, okay? Since I stepped off that plane and walked through customs in the Windhoek airport back in February, I wondered what I’d actually be doing the next two years--heck, I’ve wondered that since I was in the middle of my application process! And now that I’m here, now that I know where I’m going to be living for the next two years, I still wonder. Me being the go-getter American that I am, I have such an urge to just get up and do something. I want to be busy! But with entering a new culture and country comes different cultural norms. So even almost three months of being at my permanent site I still have no freaking clue what I’m doing. And it’s frustrating beyond belief. To know that I could just not show up to work one day or just take off on a vacation and no one would bat an eye where I was is frustrating. You would think that after three months of being here in Opuwo, I would have a better understanding of what it is that I’m supposed to do. There’s more going on than what I’m writing, but for my sake, that’s all I’m sharing here.

My APCD (Peace Corps program director) gave me a job description of what I should be doing at my office but also in the community and it was very helpful. So far though, I haven’t done very much at all in my primary assignment at the regional office. What I have been doing though is doing more community work than anything. I’ve been helping out and planning lessons for the OVC (orphans and vulnerable children) class at the Red Cross every Friday. And I have to say, those kids light up my life. After meeting them and seeing the joy in their eyes, it has made me want to come back week after week. And with my enthusiasm and experience of working with kids, I have soooo many ideas up my sleeve.

But one of the recent highlights in my life has been the planning of my upcoming trip to Victoria Falls. I’m excited beyond belief about this one. I’ll talk more about it in another blog entry, but for right now I’ll tell you that there’s white water rafting and so many animals involved. This makes for a very happy Alison.

And as I said, with the “downs” also come the “ups” so bring ‘em on!